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(Afri)Genealogy Humor

Send us your genealogy jokes, quips and humorous anecdotes
Saturday, September 01, 2007

Tracing My Tree
Found on Roots-L List
Contributed by AfriGeneas Staff

I started out calmly, tracing my tree,
To find if I could find the makings of me.
And all that I had was Great-grandfather's name,
not knowing his wife or from where he came.
I chased him across a long line of states,
And came up with pages and pages of dates.
When all put together, it made me forlorn,
Proved poor Great-grandpa had never been born.
One day I was sure the truth I had found,
Determined to turn this whole thing upside down.
I looked up the record of one Uncle John,
But then I found the old man to be younger than his son.
Then when my hopes were fast growing dim,
I came across records that must have been him.
The facts I collected made me quite sad,
Dear old Great grandfather was never a Dad.
I think someone is pulling my leg,
I am not at all sure I wasn't hatched from an egg.
After hundreds of dollars I've spent on my tree,
I can't help but wonder if I'm really me..

Posted by
Staff @ 3:01 pm EST

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

You Know That You're Addicted to Genealogy When . . .
Contributed by AfriGeneas Staff

When you brake for libraries.

If you get locked in a library overnight and you never even notice.

When you hyperventilate at the sight of an old cemetery.

If you'd rather browse in a cemetery than a shopping mall.

When you think every home should have a microfilm reader.

If you'd rather read census schedules than a good book.

When you know every town clerk in your state by name.

If town clerks lock the doors when they see you coming.

When you are more interested in what happened in 1695 than 1995.

If you store your clothes under the bed and your closet is carefully stacked with notebooks and journals.

When Savage, Torrey, and Pope are household names, but you can't remember what you call your dog.

If you can pinpoint Harrietsham, Hawkhurst, Kent on a map of England, but can't locate Topeka, Kansas.

When all your correspondence begins "Dear Cousin."

If you've traced every one of your ancestral lines back to Adam and Eve, have it fully documented, and still don't want to quit.

--Author Unknown

Posted by
Staff @ 12:55 pm EST

Sunday, October 12, 2003

Susie Lee Done Fell In Love
Contributed by Vicky Daviss Mitchell

Susie Lee done fell in love;
She planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy 'bout it all
And she told her Pappy so.

But Pappy said, 'Susie, gal,
You'll have to find another
I'd just as soon ya Ma don't know,
But Joe is yo' half brother.'

So Susie put aside her Joe
And planned to marry Will.
But after telling Pappy this,
He said, 'There's trouble still ..
You can't marry Will, my gal
And please don't tell your Mother,
But Will and Joe and several mo'
I know is yo' half brother.'

But Mama knew and said to her,
'My chile, do what makes ya happy.
Marry Will or marry Joe,
You ain't no kin to Pappy.'

Posted by
Webguru @ 12:23 pm EST

Friday, August 01, 2003

Beating A Dead Horse
Author Unknown
Contributed by Richard Schaefer

Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, government bureaucracies often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following:

1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Saying things like "This is the way we always have ridden this horse."
4. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
5. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses.
6. Appointing a committee to study the dead horse.
7. Waiting for the horse's condition to improve from this temporary downturn.
8. Providing additional training to increase riding ability.
9. Passing legislation declaring "This horse is not dead."
10. Blaming the horse's parents.
11. Acquiring additional dead horses for increased speed.
12. Declaring that "No horse is too dead to beat."
13. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance.
14. Commissioning a study to see if private contractors can ride it cheaper.
15. Removing all obstacles in the dead horse's path.
16. Taking bids for a state-of-the art dead horse.
17. Declaring the horse is "better, faster and cheaper" dead.
18. Revising the performance requirements for horses.
19. Saying the horse was procured with cost as an independent variable.
20. Raising taxes (any excuse will do).

And if all else fails:

21. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position

Posted by
Webguru @ 11:57 am EST


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25 Jun 2003 :: 01 Sep 2007
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